And then there were three.

One year ago today, I went for a 15 mile run near Stockbridge, Massachusetts. My parents had rented a house for our family Thanksgiving and I went up a few days early to help get the (Butter)ball rolling. It was a great place to run- a logging road turned trail which crossed the Appalachian Trail and continued down the mountain as a windy neighborhood street. I was training for the Disney Marathon as a last hurrah before I got pregnant (at least that was the plan). As I headed out for the run, I stopped for a last quick bathroom break before I left the house, waiting not so patiently for a period that never came. I remember that bathroom break in vivid detail, as it was the very first time I thought, "Could I be pregnant?" Over next two and a half hours on the trail (oh, and the days, weeks and months afterwards) I couldn't think of much else. If you have been reading this blog, then you know the end of this story already.

I took a test the next day and it was...negative. I hadn't mentioned it to Rick because I thought I was getting too far ahead of myself. So, I got in the shower and started getting ready for work. I hadn't thrown the stick in the garbage yet, but as I was about to...WAIT. WHAT IS THAT? A pink, um, line? A PINK LINE? Faint? Wait, what does a FAINT pink line mean??? I run into the bedroom where Rick is SOUND ASLEEP, well he WAS sound asleep right up until I woke him with a pee covered piece of plastic and a mostly invisible pink line, which I shoved very close to his eyes. Sound asleep and with no contacts on, in a dark bedroom - no the faint line did not convince him of much. In fact, as I feared, he thought I was crazy and rolled back over for more sleep.

I tried to concentrate at work and was too scared to google FAINT PINK LINE thinking that the IT department had some alarms in place that alert HR of searches on Important Life Things. I waited until Wednesday (Thanksgiving Eve) before I took another test. Sure enough. BAM. Postively pink.

And just like that my life would never be the same.

Just do it.

The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation.

JUST DO IT.
Exercise, lose weight, test your blood sugar, or whatever. Do it without motivation.And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that's when the motivation comes & makes it easy for you to keep on doing it.
~John C. Maxwell

Because it isn't usually the miles that are hard. It's the showing up. Getting out of bed. Getting into the pool. Pumping the tires on the bike. Really, folks - these are the hardest parts of Ironman training. Throw in having to peel myself away from the freaking cutest little munchkin and well...I need to heed Nike's advice and just DO it.

Actually this week was was off to a great start. Our Tuesday night run was 600's on the Reservoir path. I started the workout with a growling stomach (I *cannot* figure out the nutrition needs of training + nursing at ALL!) but somehow managed to bang out what felt like strong, steady efforts. (I'm still not timing anything, just going on feel.) I didn't stick around for the strength work after because I was about to fall over. I drank the whole Gatorade standing on the drink aisle of the drug store before I could make it to the register to pay. Trashy, right?

We're still focusing mainly on technique and pacing in the pool but by some stroke of fate, I wound up swimming in the FAST lane with the DUDES and managed not to get plowed over. It was such a victory. (Though, I'm pretty sure some NYC triathlete dude went home and blogged about the fat, slow girl clogging up the pool.)

My time trial ride turned into a trainer session (I forgot how much I hate trainer sessions) but hey, I did it so that counts for something in my book.

My weekend did not start off as I had planned - a little low key dinner with friends turned into a 2am rager (damn that wine club) and this morning's brick became an 11 am wake-up and a 1:00 nap. Yes, you read that right. I have a 15 week old and I got to sleep until 11am. Breakfast for Riley at 7 and then back to sleep. I love that kid. He's got his priorities straight.

So, internet. I have a date with 9W tomorrow morning.

Maybe I'll punish myself with some River Road running. Did I say punish? I meant REWARD. Reward myself with running, because I can.

JUST DO IT.

Thanks, Nike.

Training Habits

I promised to make blogging one of my training habits. Unfortunately it's one that's easily broken. I'm turning over a new leaf and will add the 4th leg of my IM training back in ASAP. In the meantime, today is Month 3 and so it means another Letter from Mama. Stay tuned in the coming days as I get myself back on track - well, blogwise at least!

Letter from Mama - Month Three

Riley - Our little man,

Happy Three Months! Really, these three months have been happier than I ever imagined and each day just gets better. Our little house now sparkles with your sweet laughter and your little voice chattering away. You’ve grown so much (tipping the scales at a whopping 15 or so pounds now; 13 at your last doctor’s visit.) Your first series of shots traumatized me so much more than you, as did your first fever. Yeeek. These days you are great at grabbing things with both hands, love to sit up like a big boy (with some help of course) and think watching people eat is super interesting. You laughed your head off watching us eat popcorn. We’re glad you are so easily entertained!

You’ve had so much going on this month it requires listing -


• Adding more states to the ongoing list - North Carolina, Rhode Island, Connecticut & Massachusetts
• Your first subway ride and some apartment hunting.
• On the family front - Visiting with Auntie Phyllis was fun. She’s your Great, Great Aunt. (She really is great!) Of course this also means you played your first game of Skip-Bo and got to visit the Old Candy Store and Mary’s Little Schoolhouse. (You know Mary of the Little Lamb fame!?)Cousins Gretchen & Siri were so happy to meet you. (And see you have your first meltdown in a restaurant!) Uncle Morgan took a turn at babysitting. To you he’ll always be so old, but leaving my baby brother home with you, my baby, sure was strange! GranBarb came to visit for your first NYC marathon (Dad rocked at 4:02) and Aunt Kim and Cousin Deanna came to visit too!
• Mom had her first night away from home since you were born (I couldn’t sleep!) and you got to hang out with Dad for a fun boy’s weekend. I sure did miss you but had loads of fun at triathlon camp in the mountains. I can’t wait to share the adventure someday!
• You experienced your first Wake Forest football heartbreak, saw the Deke house and met a load of fun folks in Winston-Salem. Cheering on Mom’s Seminoles was fun, but hanging out with Dad’s college friends was even better. What did you think of your first tailgate?
• You were the cutest traveling gnome for Halloween, even though you only got to parade around the house and you’ll have to wait another year before you get any candy!
• As we predicted in April, you were the lucky charm NY needed because THE YANKEES WON THE WORLD SERIES! Dad was at the final game, but I wouldn’t have traded my seat for the world….we watched Game 6 curled up together on the couch.

So, little bug every day your cheeks get a little more chunky and your words get a little more clear. Soon tiny teeth will pop through and change your baby face forever. For now, we are savoring every drooly minute. You are the cutest little munchkin and we love you to pieces. If I could slow down time, I sure would. You are growing so quickly. Keep up the good work!

Love,
Mama

Letter from Mama - Month Two

Dear Riley,

You are officially two months & forty minutes old. You’ve been in the world a whopping 61 days. Congrats!

It’s funny to say you’ve accomplished so much for a little guy, but you really have! You make the world brighter when you smile and when the occasional chuckle sneaks out, it melts our hearts. You’ve learned to smile and flirt. You love to dance (especially with your pants off!) and have figured out how great thumb sucking is. (Sorry, kid. It was your destiny!)

In 61 days, you’ve been to the beach, on a plane (you were an angel), on a bus (not an infant-friendly mode of transport), on a ferry and on GrandFrank’s boat. You saw the most magnificent sunset and I think, for a moment, it reminded you where you came from.

You’ve danced at not one, but TWO weddings and set a record of being in two photobooths before two months! Wowza. You’ve pooped on a number of pretty ladies, which is funny...for now! You’ve cheered at your first marathon (apparently you are a lucky charm!!) and cheered your favorite baseball team to the playoffs. Hopefully there's a championship ring in your next letter!

You’ve met so many people who love you - Aunt Lois, Uncle Greg, Shaune + John, Colleen + Chris, Cousins Austin, Maddie, Ryan, Liam, Maeve, Lauren + Taryn. You are a lucky little guy to meet your Great Grandmother Marie, too! You've already welcomed some new friends too - another cool dude, Kyle Adam + pretty Madison Elizabeth. You aren't the new kid on the block anymore!

We have so much ahead to look forward to, sweet Riley, but more importantly we love each moment with you. I swear you are a little different every morning when we wake up and it’s wonderful. Snuggling in bed with you and your dad on this rainy fall day is a blessing beyond words.

I love you, little one!

Love,
Mama

Under Construction

Ironman training officially starts tomorrow! I got clearance from the doctor to resume all activities on Friday, so I made it just in the nick of time!

Today was my maiden run voyage. Test driving the 'new model' Mom Body 2009 was pretty cool. I was tempted to click my heels at every crosswalk I was that happy to be running again! I did 40 minutes at what seemed like a snail's pace, with just a few 30 second walk breaks. For the most part, the engine was fine. I am happy to report that all the major components are in good working order and handled the ride nicely! (I was due to feed the little man as soon as I got home, so the, um, tanks were, um, full and well...I think I need to work on a better restraint system. Any suggestions?)

Facing down Week 1 of the "Foundation Phase" I couldn't be more excited. I'm heading to Ft. Lauderdale with Riley on Wednesday for some time with the grandparentals and look forward to some beach running and ocean swimming! I'll meet the team on Tuesday night for our first run and strength session, but I'll sadly miss our first bike and swims. Part of me wants to show up on Tuesday with a billboard that says "Under Construction: This Body is 6 Weeks Postpartum."

Seriously, who starts Ironman training in MATERNITY PANTS? Ha!

This should be fun! Wish me luck!

Letter from Mama - Week Four

Dear Riley,
You’re the center of a big debate today. Are you a month old or just 4 weeks? I think I’ll say 4 weeks and count the 15th as your official 1 month birthday. I don’t want you to grow up too fast already!

So let’s see - this week was your official launch party. You met lots of new friends and Anne Williams brought you your first bottle of liquor. Only 20 years and 11 months until you can drink it! The party was great and everyone was so happy to meet you. Dad had to leave early with Uncle Steve, John Belford and Jack to go see the Yankees game. We watched Derek Jeter tie Lou Gerhig’s hit record, which will be pretty neat to you someday in the future!

You surprised me the other day when suddenly I felt a tiny hand grabbing at my arm. It was so sweet! You can grab at things and are so much more alert now. You also found your thumb a few times this week, which is totally adorable. Dad loves playing with Mr. Duckie because you watch and smile. You can burp and fart like a full grown man which just cracks us up! I’m sure someday that will come back to haunt us, but for now we think you are pretty funny!

Well, angel face, I only have a few minutes before you wake up to eat and I need to get ready for bed before you do.

I love you more than the world!

Love,
Mama

Silver Lining

We woke up to a nor'easter. It was kind of nice - windy and cool. Eventually the rain came, and when it did, it came from every direction.

I went out for groceries and coffee. I left my wallet at home and sloshed my soaking wet way back to the car. I was hungry, wet and sans coffee. It wasn't how I wanted to start my day. Then I remembered the date and my rainy travels didn't seem so bad.

I was coming home from the post office when my mom called with the news we'd been waiting on... the tumors they've been watching in my dad have doubled in size.

Here we go again.

Since we don't have any real knowledge in terms of prognosis, treatment, etc - I'll keep it short. After a handful of rounds of colon cancer in the colon & liver, he now has tumors in his colon and one in his lungs.

It's kind of overwhelming to have the news simmering in my mind side-by-side with the elation and joy that this little Riley man is bringing into our lives. Over dinner, I was thinking how strange life is like that.

September 11th is a sad day by any measure, but it is my yearly reminder of silver linings. In the aftermath of 9/11, I was inspired by the spirit of New York, the sense of community and the ability of a place to turn something so tragic into growth and life. A little more than 6 months later, my friend Tiffany and I packed up and moved. I'm 7 years as NYer and still a little guilty that something so tragic led my life to be what it is now.

It wasn't long before my dad was first diagnosed with cancer. It was hard being so far away and like everyone felt helpless. As he recovered, I came home to find a Team in Training flyer in the mail and again found a way to turn something ugly into something new and was happy to have a tool in the fight.

Looking back now, the silver lining practically sparkles. TnT brought me my city family who eventually introduced me to my husband and well, the rest is history...

So my letter to 9-11 and cancer looks like this...

F--- YOU and thanks, without you, I wouldn't be here with this sleeping angel on my lap.